Dillon

I used to work with a marvellous creature called Anna. It didn’t do very much but it did entertain us all hugely. It was a bit of a potty-mouth but it was always funny, never more-so than when throwing it’s bizarre phrases into the mix. I found a list I began a while back and it made me laugh like a drain.
Here’s a smattering.

1: (Singing the Beach-Boys classic) “Gonna have fun, fun, fun ‘cos my daddy took my tuba away.”

2: “I’m happy go lightly!”

3: “I’ve paid through the arm and leg for this service…” (Relating a tale about Comet charging for early delivery slot and then not turning up.)

4: “They say that in London you’re only ever 5 minutes away from a rat.”

5: “He said I shouldn’t touch it with a goldmine.”

6: (By far the best) “There were six people in yellow and six in blue, like six aside football… only basketball.”

7: “She’s got a nice body but a boat (race) like a dropped pie.”

8: “The heat hit me like a tropical blanket.”

9: “It’s not worth the weight in gold it’s written on.”

10: “I love snorkelling so much I could do it ‘till my face fell off.”

11: “He started it, he opened up the gauntlet.”

12: “It just feels like I’ve been treading water and I haven’t reached the bottom.”