You know the name. You know the number.

For my birthday my lovely lady pulled her second surprise of the week (more on the first later) and took me to the cinema where I witnessed something truly wonderful in the proper sense of the word. Martin Campbell, Neal Purvis & Robert Wade set out to rejuvinate the franchise with a more pared-down, back-to-basics approach and, I'm overjoyed to say, they've delivered the goods. The hype had told me that this was gonna be great, I'd always thought their choice of actor was inspired despite how the sheer volume of doubters and their pitiful calls for the film to be boycotted (I'd felt the same way when Christopher Ecclestone was announced as the new Doctor) and the whole premise of taking it back to the very first book was simply genius.
And you know what, it works. Casino Royale is, quite possibly, the finest Bond film I have ever seen. It's just incredible. Daniel Craig owns the screen (despite some truly scene-stealing moments from Judi Dench and frankly, if you're gonna loose scenes to anyone...) and portrays a grittier, more naive, more vulnerable and therefore more dangerous Bond than any actor before. He's arrogant and makes mistakes, he's flawed and mis-judges situations, when he fights it's realistic, scrappy, far from pretty and he bleeds - a lot. I'll get shot down in flames for this but, if Bond 22 is as good as this one then, I'm sorry Connery lovers, but Danny-boy could very well be THE James Bond. Read the early books and you'll see what I mean.

Anyhow, I'm not writing a lengthy review here, you should go and see it yourselves and make up your own minds but be warned - if you love the campness, the multitude of Bond girls, the quippy one-liners, the overblown effects, the gadgets and the invisible car bollocks then you may very well be disappointed. Funny really, my favourite Bond was always Moore so by my own argument I should've loathed this film but I didn't, I loved it.

Bond intros - 02

Possibly the most famous Bond film and the start of the obsession with titles that have the word 'Gold' in them. Though they've yet to hit their stride and become unmistakably 'Bond', this intro in my mind is almost better the film. It's just genius. There's a foxy chick painted gold (echoing one of the Bond's most infamous and iconic moments) and scenes from the film are projected onto her.
What I love in particular is the fact that this was before the day of hi-tec computer wizardry so the model just had to sit there whilst being filmed, consequently you can see the occasional wobble. Nowhere more-so than at the very beginning when the music comes crashing in and her clasped hands appear on screen, with the villain of the piece, Auric Goldfinger, projected onto them, a shot that must've taken ages to set up properly, only to have her start twitching her thumb. I can see them all now cursing and swearing and re-setting cameras only to have some exec say "No. We're over budget as it is, and the paint's starting to flake. No-one will notice anyway."
Besides all this it features the unmistakable massiveness of Burley Chassis and her attention-demanding voice which, from here on in, would set the precedent and benchmark against which all Bond theme songs would be judged.

Goldfinger.

Bond intro - 01

Despite the fact that I don't want to jump on the crazy, media-fuelled, publicity band-wagon, I thought I might celebrate the fact that it's Bond-time again and walk (nae - run) you through some of my favourite Bond intro sequences. The intro has formed a big part of the anticipation I experience surrounding a new Bond outing and, although the musical accompaniment has taken a desperately shite turn of late (Maddona? Cheryl Crow? Fuck off - We all know it should be Shirley Bassey or the Jones-meister.) they're still a microlight-flying, jet-pack-wearing, magnetic-watch abusing visual treat of the highest order. Oh how I wish other filums would pay this much attention to their opening. Mind you, if they did then Bond's would no longer be special so I'm kinda glad they don't.

So without further ado let's start at the beginning with the wonderful Dr. No.


As a graphic designer I love this sequence, it's just brilliant and stands up just as well today as any of the newer, effects heavy intros. I especially like the very beginning when the dot first appears to tell you it's a Harry Saltzmann & Albert R. Broccoli production, and I always chuckle at Connery's hat and his wee little hop he does when he spins to shoot his gun at us. What makes it all the more special is the fact that, as it's the first film, it runs to the Bond theme that we all know and love right up until about halfway in when it unexpectedly veers off on a tangent and goes all Mr. Tito-Madcap and his Magic Toga Band. Suddenly there's a bunch of midriffs cavorting around in some kind of semi-transparent, mono-tone, seisure-laden chaos and then, hang on, what's that? Isn't that three blind blokes wandering past the screen? What the Hell's going on? Brilliant.

Like the new look?

I've upgraded my blog. Whadya think folks? Like it or hate it? I'm not sure how to get rid of that annoying line around the title though, guess I'll have to put my codey head on and have a look. Apparently you can subscribe to the blog now if you like. There's a wee linkie down at the bottom of the page.

They blew up her windmill!

This is a really sad music video. I came across this yesterday whilst trawling YouTube. Poor old Noodle.

Nice windmill

I love this track (despite disliking Damon Albarn and his strangled, wimpy voice) and this is such an incredible video I just have to post it. I'm sure most people out there have seen it already but, hey. The windmill seems so serene and peaceful floating up there in the clouds with little Noodle perched on the front.

TV

I don't want to worry anyone but last night there appeared to be a show on television called 'Celebrity Scissorhands' where famous people train as hair and beauty experts. It was on the BBC too. What is happening in the World? Apparently Steve Strange, that waste of skin Darren Day and the bloke what used to be in 'Right Said Fred' are in it. God help us all.

The more I think about it

The more I realise that I have to, nae - NEED to drive a dog-sled across the ice flows or frozen tundra. It's been a desire that's been with me for so long now that it's pretty much eclipsing every other dream I have, probably because it combines three of my most favourite things. Snow, dogs and the possibility of cuddling up in front of a fire with Beth.
After watching David Attenburough's outstanding Planet Earth - Ice Worlds last night I've spent most of the afternoon gazing at pages and pages of info and pictures about the Ice Hotel, dog-sledding safaris & the North Pole on the good ol' interweb. I've also been scouring said web for info on just who I can beat with a shitty stick in retaliation for the destruction of the Antarctic ice and, as a direct consequence, the loss of habitat of the beautiful polar bear. If you're out there reading this mister ice-destroying man, then you are a git and, if I ever find you, I will kick your arse six ways from Sunday.

Crazy spam

Along with just about everyone else in the country, my junk e-mail folder seems to be bulging at it's virtual seams these days. The bloody thing is heaving with invitations to buy shares in obscure overseas companies, cheap software offers and the occasional 'Phishing' attack from Barclays, a bank I don't even use. (I don't mind the latter as I was starting to feel left out that I'd never been 'phished' when it was clearly on the increase.) But now it seems I've been targeted by some kind of DaDaist movement that have become jaded with the art world and have moved into... er... spam. I'm getting all manner of odd Haiku-esque e-mails that frankly make my head spin.
Here's a selection.

Subject: Hi Annemarie

Hi iamjustsendingthisleter.
How are you ? Call me.
what children


Subject: open-headed mill-ink

boulanger ×"



Subject: oil pan parlor car

"no, i should have turned in a moment."but when her mother was gone, jane would not be prevailed on to go down without one of her


Subject: mouth-watering palm grub

"i should like balls infinitely better," she replied, "if they were carried on in a different manner;

Todays funky robot is...

Soundwave/Gnarls Barkley

I've no idea is this is genuine but I kinda like it. The bit with the little tape robot (don't know if he's supposed to be Rumble or Frenzy) dancing at the end is brilliant.

Nigel Kneale

Nigel Kneale, the creator of the brilliant 'Quatermass' television shows has died aged 84. BBC News.

Hailed as the founding father of television sci-fi, Kneale pretty much invented the 'must-see' TV event, emptying the streets and pubs when the BBC aired 'The Quatermass Experiment' live in the 1953. The shows lead character, the alien-battling Professor Bernard Quatermass, was televisions first TV serial hero and went on to star in three more adventures.

In 'The Quatermass Experiment' the first manned space mission, sent into space by the British Experimental Rocket Group, crash lands back on Earth with two out of the three crew dead from mysterious circumstances. Once back on Earth the surviving astronaut slowly transforms into an amalgam of man and plant. 'Quatermass 2' followed in 1955 and featured an alien infection infiltrating Earth and turning people into zombies.
The third was perhaps the most successful of the series and in 'Quatermass and the Pit', Professor Quatermass finds himself involved in the discovery of a bizarre object at an archeological dig in Knightsbridge, London. As the serial progresses, Quatermass and his allies find that the contents of the object have a horrific influence over those who come into contact with it, and darker implications for the entire nature of mankind. The British Film Institute described the show as: "Completely gripping, under the guise of genre it tackled serious themes of man's hostile nature and the military's perversion of science for its own ends." Despite it's success, 'Quatermass and the Pit' was to be the last outing for the professor for twenty years.

Kneale also pre-empted the current fashion for reality TV shows with the creation of 'The Year of the Sex Olympics' in 1968. Here, society in the future is divided into two classes, the hi-drives and the low-drives. The low-drives are controlled by a constant broadcast of pornography that the hi-drives are convinced will pacify them.
In 1979 the BBC broadcast Kneale's modern horror story 'The Stone Tape', a terrifying tale concerning a group of electronic engineers who become fascinated by the supposed haunting of the historic house where they have set up their new research laboratory.

He returned to his most famous creation in 1979 and wrote 'Quatermass' for ITV. The serial starred Sir John Mills as the titular character and this time, after the destruction of a new space station, young people find themselves mysteriously drawn to an ancient stone circle in England where they believe they’ll be taken to a better place by a higher power. Quatermass discovers that they are actually being harvested by an alien race and must find a way to stop them.

In his illustrious career Kneale earned two BAFTA best screenplay nominations for his film adaptations of John Osborne's plays 'Look Back in Anger' and 'The Entertainer'. He worked on literary adaptations of 'Wuthering Heights' and most famously George Orwell's 'Nineteen Eighty-Four', starring Peter Cushing. The latter case creating a television production which became almost as famous as the book itself, being labelled both horrific and subversive, provoking death threats and raising questions in Parliament.

He continued working until the late 1990s, writing 'Sharpe's Gold' and episodes of 'Kavanagh QC' and his legacy can be felt throughout the sci-fi horror genre.