Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Eggs with poo on.

As our craving for all things organic increases we seem to be taking a step back in our visual aesthetic as far as food goes. Back, I should point out, to how it used to be in ‘the good ol’ days’. (I have no idea when these fabled ‘good ol’ days’ were as I quite like ‘these’ days and anyone older than me seems to have existed in ‘the good ol’ days’ making the year range from something like the 1900’s to the ‘90’s.)
I’m talking about the way that now, the more mud a cabbage; tomato or carrot has on it, the better. 10 years ago everyone associated mud on food with it being unclean, (which of course it was but only in an unwashed sense not a leprous one), which, we believed in our heightened health-paranoid state, would lead to e-coli. Food with earth on was avoided in favour of sterile looking, shrink-wrapped food.
Now the dirtier it is the better it must be. The potato’s been grown on a real farm by a real farmer, (who’s not a city boy who’d got bored earning millions, bought a Barber, a cap and a pig-farm), transported ten minutes down the road by the farmer’s wife and lovingly placed in Tesco’s within twelve minutes of being dug up. It alludes to our romantic notions of how we’d like things to be if it weren’t for the fact that we can’t actually be fagged not to go to Tesco so they keep getting bigger and bigger and obliterating the smaller stores that actually do sell stuff from local farms. With free mud.
So, now we have eggs with poo on. We always did when I was a kid. They come out of a chicken’s bum after-all. Then for a brief period they were washed to cater for the squeamish consumer. And now they have poo on again which is great. Because they’re fresh. I like eggs with poo on them.

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Word of the day. Crapsifruit.

1. a. - Alt. of Crapsifruit. ~ (Crap-see-frute) To be a bit crap and slightly fruity. (See John Inman.)