Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Naff food I sometimes indulge in

I'm a bit bored today so I'm currently wasting my time by participating in a thread on The Guardian's Talk boards called 'Secret naff foods you sometimes dabble in' and I gotta say, it's pretty enlightening. An amazing amount of people think Monster Munch are naff - when they're clearly brilliant and I had no idea so many of us out there love a good ol' corned beef hash. But I digress. This thread got me thinking about crap food and how I secretly (and sometimes not-so-secretly) indulge from time to time. So, sweet-smelling reader, I give you a list of my all time favourite shite foodstuffs I sometimes indulge in.

  1. Chicken & Mushroom Pot-Noodle. (Start with the obvious)
  2. Beef & Onion Findus Crispy Pancake. (I've not had this since college in truth but I do sometimes get the odd craving. I've spoken about these before too.)
  3. Prawn or Chive flavour Primula. (Essentially cheese spread in a toothpaste tube)
  4. 'All Day Breakfast' in a can. (Wonderful when suffering with a hangover - truly)
  5. Camp Coffee. (Coffee syrup with chicory - not 'gay' coffee in a John Inman way)
  6. Butterscoth Angel Delight. (Seriously)
  7. Liquorice Catherine Wheels. (Eaten whole or wound out depending on my mood)
  8. Pork Scratchings. (Genius)
  9. Smith's 'Scampi Fries' or the incongruously named 'Cheese Flavoured Moments'. (Need I say more? Probably)
  10. And last but not least - the humble, but mighty, Scotch Egg.
Right, now that's done... I'm off down SPAR for a Ginster's Cheese & Mushroom slice.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

The future is getting closer

The birth of the ray-gun.

Apparently the U.S. Military has developed what is known as the 'Active Denial System'. They claim that it's a non-lethal way of making enemies surrender their weapons. The ray-gun projects an invisible high energy beam which produces a sudden burning feeling but is claimed to produce no side-effects. (Quite how you can 'heat someone up' without there being any side-effects is beyond me.)
The Flash Gordon style heat-ray is fired from the back of a modified Humvee up to a distance of 500 metres penetrating the target's clothes, suddenly heating up the skin of anyone in its path to 50C. Apparently (according to the Army tech-bods) it's enough to cause discomfort but no lasting harm.
It also looks alarmingly like something that Godzilla would stamp on or the laser cannon employed by the rebel forces on Hoth.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Monday, January 08, 2007

Many Happy Returns

Happy Birthday Mr. Bowie you crazy make-up wearing, music-making, genre-busting, bisexual, Iman-marrying, Labyrinth-starring, mis-matched-eyed, personality-adopting genius you. Here's to being 60 and still cool.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Ugg boots

You look like you're a mental patient and you've gone out in your slippers. Stop it. In the words of Alan Partridge, "You look like you live on a ward."

Monday, January 01, 2007


Happy New Year to you all! Here's to a prosperous, healthy and entertaining year ahead.