Thursday, December 22, 2005

Ever felt like this?

I have.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Lucky find.

I just found $10 in my old wallet! What shall I blow my ten big-ones on? (Admitedly they're not much use in the UK but hey... a guy can dream.)

Thursday, December 15, 2005

How f****** great is this!

It's a chuffin' solar panel for my iPod & mobile!... She's called Daisy.

Monday, December 12, 2005

What the bloody hell?

They've gone and buggered up Smarties! First it was Marathons then Opal Fruits and now Smarties! How very dare they. What the hell is going on, why can't they leave well enough alone. I'm all for change when it's necessary but this, this is just stupid. Where's the coloured lid with the embossed letter on it? How am I gonna karate chop the cap across the room now? Anyone will tell you this is half the point of buying Smarties you morons.

Soon, to this very blog...

Thursday, December 08, 2005


I've just discovered the 'shuffle' option on my iPod and it's great! Most of the time I end up listening to the same tracks over and over or I scroll through the list deliberating what to listen to for so long that I don't listen to anything 'cos the train has pulled into London Bridge. There is however a drawback... It's made me realise how much shit I have on it. I listen to probably every third/fourth track and skip over the rest. It's a 20gig one that currently has over 3000 tracks on it of which I probably only listen to or like a third. That's the problem with having a large capacity iPod you see, half the fun of listening to music on the move in my tape-playing Walkman days came from the moment whilst listening to Orbital when I suddenly realised I'd love to hear Led Zepplin again but knew I had to wait. The iPod gets rid of that and I think that's a shame, though the upsides far outway that one downside.
Shuffle - it's the way forward... randomly forward.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005


Round about this time of year loads of shops near me start selling Pannettone. It seems people are starting to associate this Italian cake with Christmas. How, exactly, did that happen? It's not even that nice. Okay quite a few people dislike the traditional Christmas pudding and not everyone likes fruit-cake but come on, Pannettone? Do me a favour. Personally I find it very hard to trust a nation 'dessert-wise' whose contribution to the great and vast pantheon of biscuits is one that's so damn hard you have to soak it in coffee so it doesn't rupture the roof of your mouth and shatter teeth when you eat it.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Dead Starfish...

This weekend the West Pier in Hove gave what could be potentially it's last gasp. The ticket office that had stood resolute against all the recent 'mishaps', escaped two fires and a damned good battering by the sea, finally succumbed and, after a brave attempt to cling on 'till the last, crashed into the sea. It's so very sad. That brave little ticket office has been through so much, sitting like a country singer's dog besides it's dead master's lifeless corpse. I miss it.
Anyhow, what with the collapse of more of the pier and the stormy seas we've been getting of late, a load of flotsam & jetsam has been washed up on the shore. Mostly this is bits of old wood, seaweed, (particularly that purse-type one), and general detritus. On Sunday however things were that little bit sadder, the ticket office had gone, the West Pier was on it's last legs and to cap it all in amongst the debris were lots of dead starfish. Loads of 'em. I can only assume that they were attached to the pier when it went.
There's something about starfish that make me smile, live ones of course. Maybe it's because, as a kid, thye exist in that weird undersea world along with Sea-Horses, that kind of 'are they real or aren't they?' kind of place. They're not fish as we recognise fish but neither are they similar to anything else... They're just starfish. Oh, and there was a drowned rat.

The World's Shortest Fairytale.

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing
and played golf a lot and drank beer and
farted whenever he wanted.