Room 101 (part one).

I've been thinking about what I'd put into Room 101 (if you've not seen it it's a tv show where famous types try to convince Paul Merton that he should banish the things they hate to the depths of 'Room 101'). It's harder than you'd think, at least I'm finding it harder than I'd thought I would. Maybe I have too sunny a disposition... Ha! Anyhow, I've come up with a few which I'll share with you and I'll add to the list as I go.

1: Toilets in trendy bars.
There's a bar just off Old Street that some designery friends and I used to frequent, I won't mention it by name, that is a prime offender. The problem is that the bar is so trendy Hoxtony that instead of letting you know which bog is which by the ancient and traditional use of a sign on the door (a practice that is recognised across the globe and has stood the test of time I should add) they have liberally applied graffiti to the entire area. It covers the walls and the doors completely. If you are a newcomer you just end up standing there trying to work out where the hell the doors actually are, and when you've conquered that particular problem... which is which.
So many bars do this. They have elaborate grafix on them such as huge male & female logos or, in the case of one Spanish themed pub I once went into, the words "Hombres' & 'Hombras'. Luckily I knew which is which but some wouldn't.
Now this probably sounds like I'm making too much of this but just think about it for a moment. When you're out with friends in a bar,enjoying the company and the pop is flowing you don't always go to the carzy the moment you start to want to, you're having a good chat, you've got something interesting to say so you tend to leave it a bit until you really need to. You stagger off to the little boys/girls room only to be confronted with two doors decorated in some kind of Aztec rune symbolising man or woman. You don't wanna go wobbling off into the ladies' if you're a fella and if you're a chick you sure as hell don't want to see the horror that is a boys toilet. So you stand there scratching you're head, you're bladder becoming ever more insistent waiting for some moment of clarity or for someone to come out and show you the correct path. You're also missing your mates fascinating discourse on the chubby guy at work.
Don't muck us about in our hour of need publicans. Male. Female. Boys. Girls. Ladies. Gents. They're good words and they work.