Room 101 (part three).

3: The general public
How I hate 'the general public'. They're ugly, depressing and boring. It's important to distinguish here between 'the general public' and 'people'. I like 'people', 'people' are nice and can be capable of the most extraordinary acts of kindness and selflessness. The term 'the general public' is used here as a kind of metaphor for people en-masse and in a particular situation or mood. Stand in the arrivals hall of Gatwick Airport and you'll see 'the general public' at their ugliest. Tonnes of Brits wobbling off the flight from Malaga in shorts and flip-flops, their size-too-small vest barely covering the flab they call a belly. Lobster pink face and milky white pins. Completely oblivious of course to the fact that they've returned to Britain in October when it's chuffin' freezing!
They read the Daily Mail, Heat Magazine and anything with a 30+ neurotic singleton in it who's sexy and kooky, get's pissed and dates rubbish men. They go to Pizza-Hut and Starbucks. They think that chewing gum belongs on the pavement. They think that road-rage is a brilliant idea and that 'The X-Factor is a truly worthwhile tv show. (Sharron Osbourne was recently voted 'Best TV Expert'. Sharron Osbourne for fucks sake! Who the cock thinks she's better than Sir David Attenborough, Simon Schama or Sir Robert Winston!) They put Girls Aloud in the charts and adore people with no discernible talent, especially if they're married to a footballer. They generally are responsible for all the ill and everything that is crass and lifeless in the Britain today.
There, I've said it.